So, actually this is my second post. Because when I started this blog yesterday I realized I had entered”chemicus cum”. Which makes no sense at all. But that action does, sadly, play into my lack of ability to proofread. Although, give me a little break- it was all one word, and in Latin. So I have moved everything over here where it actually is “chemicus sum”.
So today children we are going to discuss the topic of repeating history. Or as I like to call it “Charlie Brown, Lucy, and a football”. So we are not going to discuss actual repition of classical historical events. My brain has never been good with dates. General time lines, I am acceptible, but actual dates and precise order of events? No. Sorry.
I did say there would be discussion of people, and I will try to keep it more a study an discussion on why the hell stupid humans do that as opposed to me ranting about people you likely would live a full life having never met.
There is much discussion of the cycle of abuse. Someone beats someone else, they leave, they come back, and rinse, wash, repeate. This cycle is an of itself difficult enough for the abusee. The eternal hope that their partner will change, the eventual acceptance that they won’t, and potentially the resignation that things will never get better. Like the fact that Lucy will never let Charlie Brown kick the football. That would qualify as a type of abusive relationship.
But what about if you are Lucy’s friend. You know she is being a horrible person, at least in that aspect of her life. It is not like she is always horrible. She has her own advice stand that people would visit and pay for advice. She obviously has some good qualities, or else she would not have friends. (Wait, did she actually have constant friends?)
Millions of people have that one, crazy person in their lives. You know that person. The one who is vivacious, and fun to hang out with. Every other outing leads to the constant recitation of “We’re going to jail, aren’t we?”. Those people that seem to grab life by the horns, those people that pull the goofiest pranks- like pulling the football away from Charlie Brown. Sure, it is funny at first. Then, after awhile, it just seems mean. Soon you start to realize that, while Lucy is fun, she is also insanely bossy. That you actually don’t want to spend all of your time with her. Really, she should let Charlie kick the ball one or twice. She is constantly setting up her advice booth, spreading her ideas all around, and you soon realize that she should be shut down for malpractice. Eventually the multitude of reasons as to why Lucy has no friends dawns on you.
You also start to realize how stupid Charlie is. After countless times he should have learned that Lucy will always pull away the football, always. And if she has that behavior pattern with one individual, then she likely has it with others.
So while it may not be a physical football, what has she been fooling you about? What has she lead you on to think that she will do, and then she repeatedly does not fulfill her promise.
So now, you come to the conclusion that if Charlie is stupid for his repeat offenses, then you must be stupid too. And that idea never sits well with anyone. No one likes to be made to felt stupid, to act a fool, even if the only reason it is so is because you failed to put the puzzle together fast enough.
So, perhaps, you keep going back in order to prove to your self how smart you are! Because, indeed, one day Lucy will not pull the football away, just like you thought! And then you are a visionary because you saw into the future, a new future where Lucy was not such a brat.
People do much to save their pride. Even willingly subject themselves to abusive situations. People will even contiously go back to an abusive relationship with the idea of “now that I know what is going on I can change it, I can take back my pride”.
Which is a wonderful sentiment, until the abuse starts back.
The only way to end abuse, the only way to stop it, is to leave it. No pride, no intelligence, no control; just absence. The abuse will stop when you are not longer there.
You can’t stop abuse.
Just leave it.